#anyway. hehehehehe. still giggling.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s7 episode 4 "millennium" thoughts

hehehehhe. hehe. i have seen The gif from this episode. i am so excited to learn its context!!!

wow... everyone say thank you very much to mulder and scully for preventing y2k ❤️

i have heard much about the concepts behind the proposed y2k collapse, and they have never entirely made perfect sense to me, but i suppose you had to be there. and i was not. 

from reading the episode description, it seems that in this universe, the year 2000 turned people into zombies? hmm. much to ponder there.

the first two episodes of this season were eh, then the third was good but lacked mulder and scully, so i’m curious to see what this one brings, because i have heard a lot of s7 praise. so let’s see what it’s about!!

post-episode thoughts: rejoice!! a banger ep!!! it had zombies!! injured mulder!! scully with cool scars!! skinner worrying about his best agents!! mulder saying creepy stuff!! scully smiling!! and being a math geek!! and the thing that you know i am referring to vaguely!! a good episode, indeed! one that will be important to me, i can tell!

we open on a funeral in florida. i can’t tell if the dialogue is really quiet or if my laptop is malfunctioning. seems to just be quiet- thank goodness.

it doesn’t seem that mr. johnson here has ever met mrs. crouch, but he showed up at mr. crouch's funeral. he says he worked briefly with him. which doesn’t clear up much. and he leaves. so she is alone with the casket. 

oh, some other guy named raymond is here. he says he is at peace. and also it’s christmas, btw. 

why is mr. johnson lurking!!!! in this funeral home!!! he lifts up the lid to the casket and bro inside looks super dead. hey, i don’t like how mr. johnson is quoting the bible while stripping over a dead body. noooo, don’t take the dead guy’s clothes off too.

THE BONES CRACK??? what is he DOING?? STOP CRACKING HIM??? why is he calling someone on the phone………… and then he closes the casket. okay. didn’t like that. dead mr. crouch was really gray. more so than i feel he should be.

so mr. johnson stole the dead guy’s pin and now is watching, 4 days later, at the graveyard. he gets a call… is it the dead guy?? with the phone he gave him?? so he walks out with a shovel!!!!

omfg…. did they coordinate this pre-death… kinda badass, in a way. but also fucked up. because his wife was so sad!!!

intro was very short today!!! damn!! i nearly got whiplash!!

it’s december 30th, and scully is here. if she is in florida, i wonder why she is wearing a jacket. but she’s committed to the look above all else, i suppose. and she lifts the caution tape up herself. for shame! mulder, this is your sacred duty!

pretty scully…….

oh no, raymond the funeral home guy is trying to assure her that he did NOT bury a living man, as the rumors suggest!! also, dead mr. crouch was FBI, it seems? scully is confused LMAO. BAHAHAHAAA, WHAT WAS THAT FACE SHE MADE!! I’M CRYINGGGGG

(scully shouts into the hole) “mulder, have you been spreading rumors?” (mulder pops into frame at the bottom of the hole) “why? you hear any good ones lately?” LMAOOOO 

BAHAHA “not particularly” yeah. allegedly being buried alive does NOT impress her.

AWWW, he wishes her merry christmas, by the way. and she says thank you! and wishes him one as well. bet nothing can top last year, though.

oooo, it looks like someone was trapped in there, trying to get out, and the fingerprints on the casket match those of the dead man! mulder confirms that he is NOT the source of the rumors, but rather, they are coming from the police department. AND the fingerprints are on the headstone!! they're neon. is that an FBI tool used to highlight evidence, or did mr. crouch have nasty neon stuff on his hands when he returned from the dead...?

scully thinks the evidence was faked- she's not sure why, though. but they see what looks like a trail of blood on the grass nearby!!! ewww.

mr. johnson is somewhere else, quoting the bible again. uhhhh. some sort of zombie figure is rising up behind him as he drives into georgia.

hmm. back to the bureau.

agent crouch served for 21 years, retired, and was recently found dead. JESUS, that photo of his dead body was NASTY. y’all did NOT have to show all that... the fuck?!?!?!

skinner is here. and so are some other rando agents. mulder doesn’t think it’s a grave robbery- it was necromancy. the other agents seem uncomfy with this. spooooooky.

he claims the blood they found in the grass was from a goat, and it was used to draw a magic circle- but the rain washed most of it away. “the blood attracts the spirits of the undead, while the circle focuses the necromancer’s power while protecting him from the spirits that he’s conjuring” <- are y’all writing that down? ✍️ 

this rando dude’s faaaaaace.... he cannot believe what he is hearing 

ah, scully, (mostly) so even-keeled: “obviously, there are clear ritualistic elements to this crime. the question is: why were they directed at raymond crouch?” <- the perfect response!

ohhhh, skinner pulls them aside…. are they in trouble?!

“what if it looked something like this?” he shows them a picture of an ouroboros!!! so they are not in trouble, then!!! he must need them for a special task.

“the alchemists favored it”, mulder declares. sigh. i need that man.

but not as bad as i need scully in a turtleneck. fuuuuck.

skinner says it was the logo for the millennium group- who were former FBI agents who offered consulting services to law enforcement. hmm. that feels like it shouldn't be allowed.

but somehow, they got a bad reputation. maybe they were a cult. which of course, mulder has heard the rumors about!

the group dissolved a couple months ago- a likely time for them to go underground if they were based on the end of the millennium, no? skinner reveals he has info on 3 other grave desecrations!!!! all with former FBI agents!!! and all were recent suicides!! 

this is very SENSITIVE due to their ties to the bureau, so don’t be mean to him, mulder! he tasks them with investigating and keeping a low profile. mulder says he knows where to start.

they go to a psychiatric hospital in virgina. always a good place to begin. they’re here to see a criminal profiler that worked in the department before mulder did- allegedly the greatest they’ve ever produced! he checked himself in for a 30 day stay, but mulder says he used to consult for the millennium group. and later fought to bring them down. HMM… why do i feel like he’s gonna be dead when they get there?

mulder saying good morning to the guy muttering in the hallway…. he is a kind guy sometimes 💗

“single-minded. sounds like someone i know”, scully says <- don’t flirt in the mental hospital, y’all

they meet a guy named frank black, who to me looks like the undertaker from earlier, but maybe a lot of white men look the same in a way. he’s watching football. he does not seem to give a fuck. 

mulder knows his sports teams, though. trust that.

frank says he recognizes the pictures of the men they show him and then does not elaborate. i respect that. he doesn’t wanna chat. but scully must try and get more info, as this is her job.

frank does not want to help- he wants to put his life back together. he says no thank you. but they only have 2 days before the new year and more potential killings!!

“it’s first and ten. just let me watch this game in peace” “it’s THIRD and TEN. notre dame” “happy new year” “same to you” <- is he… saying something in football code?? mulder storms off and scully follows. he was MAD. said something about him being "not what i'd hoped", oooo boy, that's nasty work. frank pissed him off!

in maryland, mr. johnson is pulled over on the side of the road, fixing a flat. a cop stops him. but smells something very gross. and he sees flies…. what’s in the truck? oh, the cop knows something is up. and he starts chanting the same prayer. 

bleh. dead guy reveal! ahhh!! he keeps saying his words and the zombie bites the cop!!! and he was standing in a circle!!! to focus his power, i guess. 

mulder ponders this upon arriving at the crime scene. he found the salt circle. salt, not blood! scully points out this noticeable difference. mulder says it was to protect himself against “whatever it was that did that” (pan over to a lot of blood on the ground) hmm. gross!

a cop flags them over. run, agents! in your billowing coats!!! gag!!! they found a body!! with bite marks!!! 

EWWW... they pull something out of his mouth and the way the lips moved was NASTY. it is a paper with a bible verse written on it, and one of the cops knows exactly which one it is. “book of revelation, chapter one, verse 18” “go fighting irish” <- SO FRANK WAS SPEAKING IN FOOTBALL CODE!!! but to what end?!

they go back to visit frank, who is sipping his milk. “what are you afraid of?” 

HA! scully figures it out- she is so good at figuring things out. he’s in a custody battle and doesn’t want to lose rights to his daughter. they claimed he was an unfit father for being obsessed with conspiracy. he says they were right. so he will do anything they ask, but never mention the millennium group again.

i get his point, but also, they do need him to help out because people are dying, not for some frivolous reason, so maybe if he could make ONE exception, that could be cool.

mulder has gotten him to crack with a promise of secrecy. revelations, heaven and hell, a battle. the four deaths were those who believed, unlike the others in the millennium group, that man must take an active role in bringing about the end times. oooo, the four horsemen…. “it must begin with the dawn of the millennium” or not at all. 

scully seems to be pondering this, in her catholic way.

he proposes that the necromancer is NOT from the millennium group- they hired him. he thinks he’s doing god’s work. hmm. didn’t know you could place an ad in the paper and find one that easily. he seems to be just some guy.

but frank begins to profile him. he talks of a man leading a solitary existence, working with death- and we see mr. johnson working with taxidermy! he did what he could to prevent the deputy from coming back to life. and he’ll return the body. 

they plan to go to the morgue- and mulder says they must track down the not-dead bodies first before locating a murderer. BAHAHA, tell him, scully, about these cultists mangling biblical prophecies. “and besides, 2001 is actually the start of the new millennium” <-NERD! nerd. said while blushing.

LMAOOOOO “nobody likes a math geek, scully” but you do. fucker. him saying that with a smile.... he's down bad

they’re going to split up: scully to the morgue, mulder to find the necromancer. 

and he asks for a favor: PLEASE do not let anyone take out the staples from the deputy’s mouth. “please? just humor me?” <- i like that tactic- saying "please" and asking for her to humor him instead of diving into long explanations of zombie lore. they're in a rush, after all!

BLEAUGHHH, SOMEONE IS TAKING THEM OUT ALREADY. ohhh, it's someone who isn't scully doing an autopsy- this feels very strange. BLEUGH, she opens his mouth, and it is filled with SALT.

scully calls. as the person doing the autopsy removes the salt. noooooooo. please listen to my friend scully! who calls AGAIN. she goes to listen to the message, asking her to please not autopsy the murder victim. BUT IT’S TOO LATE. THE ZOMBIE GOT HER!!!!!!

scully rolls up, drawing her gun as she finds the dead bodies, and the phone ringing off the hook, surrounded by blood. the woman who was doing the autopsy is still alive!!! but the necromancer is here!! as is the undead guy!! and shooting at him in the chest doesn’t prevent him from grabbing scully!!!

unhand her at once, you scoundrel!!!

the woman doing the autopsy is brought into the hospital, which is good. but where is scully?? 

skinner is here looking for her!!! he looks at a dead body… but it’s not her!!! she’s alive, but with scratches on her neck.

omfg..... skinner moved her hair to look at them…. something very intimate about that. he asks how she’s feeling. 

the dead body is the sheriff’s deputy! “he was dead, and then somehow he wasn’t”

i am distracted by the neck scars. sorry. she looks cool as fuck.

and of COURSE she shot the three rounds right into his chest. she knows no other way than perfect aim! but it had no effect.

god. she’s so pretty. sighs wistfully.

the necromancer shot the deputy in the head and saved her!!! but why?? he got away. and did not explain his actions.

skinner wants to talk to mulder… but he isn’t picking up his phone!!! 

he’s busy. got his sunglasses on. checking every single landowner in the area. and he has no service. but he seems to have found the guy! yeah, you also look cool as fuck in your shades, mulder, but not as cool as dramatic neck scar scully. 

he’s going through this guy necromancer mr. johnson's trash…. finds a ton of salt!!!! and puts some in his pockets. hope it’s enough to protect him from evil in the case of emergency.

bro crawls up the fence. okay, spider money!!

mr. johnson is coming home, though!!!

mulder gets inside his house, finding lots and lots of taxidermy. but mr. johnson pulls in, and sees mulder’s car!!!

mulder is breaking into a cellar of some sort. BLEUGH!!! a hand reaches up for him!!! many hands!!!! the zombies are trying to eat him!!! and then mr. johnson shuts the door!!!

he fires a ton of shots!!! but we know they are kind of immune to those unless they hit the head!!! 

scully goes to frank, asking if mulder has stopped by. she needs his help!! she is not going to take no for an answer. she asks if he thinks they can bring about the end times…. “but what if it were true? good and evil… which would prevail?” <- FUCK! scully ruminating on the nature of the universe and the role of god... i will eat it up every time. he still doesn’t want to help. 

oh…. he checks himself out…. maybe he will?

BRO!! THEY HAVE ALMOST EATEN MULDER’S ARM!!! he is trapped in that basement!!! 

frank goes to see the necromancer mr. johnson!!! and necromancer says thank god, we’d almost given up on you.

so frank was either wrong or lying in his profile- this guy was a member of the group, not just someone hired. that is how it seems to me, anyway, because why else would mr. johnson know him? or maybe they hired him before frank left? idk. hard to say. anyway, he says there’s someone in the basement- he’s killed one of the members. yeahhhh, that’s my mulder!!!

“but you’re here. now we’ll have four” LEAVE FRANK ALONE????

they step inside. “you were meant to be the fourth; i’d always known that” <- so that must be why he shot the zombie attacking scully- so frank could be the last horseman. but ohhh, franks’s confessing he sent mulder here!!! frank says he can’t walk the straight and narrow now that he knows they’ve succeeded. hey, what does that mean….? is he telling the truth? will he go along with their apocalyptic schemes?

necromancer mr. johnson says they took frank's daughter from him and murdered his wife over this?! is that true? seems like wild information to reveal in the third act.

and he pulls out a gun… saying there will be justice in the next world. frank says he’s ready. the necromancer starts changing. but frank gets him first!!! 

skinner calls scully. he has news: all four victims received calls from the same number frank had while at the hospital! trace that phone, she demands!

frank is tying up the necromancer, who is begging him not to do this- there is no future in this world, he says; only uncertainty and pain.

frank opens the door to find mulder… no response…. is he okay?!? yes! mulder says he’s down here, and the zombies are all around. frank tosses a flare. they’re hiding from him. he shoots one in the head!!! a frank W!! only two more!! and scully is on the way!!! 

following a map as she drives!!! tracing the route with her finger! that is my beloved!!

bleh!!! mulder had to tie his own arm tourniquet with his tie. a resourceful fellow. but frank gets jumped by a zombie!!! hurry, scully!!! 

she picks the lock instead of climbing the fence, which i think is a fun difference between her and mulder.

aha! mulder gets up and shoots one of the other zombies in the head!! or at least close to the head!! but the last one comes!! and he has no bullets!

YEAHHH, SCULLY GETS THEIR ASS!! and it seems like frank is bleeding from the head but otherwise okay???

the ball….. for new years… soon it shall drop. frank is watching in a hospital waiting room. scully comes to see him!! necromancer mr. johnson has been taken for a psych evaluation!!

scully says someone is here to see him. AWWW, it's his daughter :,) scully smiling as they hug…. someone shoot me.

OH… mulder comes out just then and smiles at them, too… stop. STOP. I’LL SCREAM. his arm is all wrapped up. frank heads out with the girl.

the ball… it drops. it’s 2000!!!! big things happening!!! he looks at her…. THEY KISSSSSSS and smile. “the world didn’t end” “no, it didn’t” OH MY GODDDDD

and they walk out, with his functional arm around her shoulder.

fuck. i gotta watch that again. 

he moved first… he was watching her… and then they both smile…

“the world didn’t end” being more about them actually making a move than it is about the potential threat of y2k. oh, fuck me.

AND SHE LOOKS AWAY as he wraps his arm around her. and he pushes the door ahead of her with his one working arm.

FUCK.

yeah. i had seen the gifs. but it is even better in person. RAAAAH.

and i know their dumbasses will NOT talk about it-

because that’s just what friends do, right? friends sometimes kiss each other on new year’s. and smile at cute children being reunited with their parents. absolutely. entirely platonic. it’s been known to happen 

(- that is my impression of what they were both thinking when they finally got to bed that night and couldn’t fall asleep)

ahhhh….. a kiss. that actually happened! in this universe!!!

so funny that they were going to kiss in FTF, but a bee got in the way, so we had to have a whole season of angst before that could happen. and as much as i would love to think that they’re both going to have an "oh shit, wait, i really liked that, did they like it too? i knew i would, i imagined it for a long time, but shit, shit, shit, it was better than i thought…" type moment, i KNOW they won’t talk about it. LMAO.

unless they prove me wrong!! i would love to be proved wrong!! i invite them to prove me wrong!!

aww. kiss aside, this was a pretty good episode. zombies!!! rawr!!! growl!!! scully gets cool neck scratches!! and saves the day with her sharpshooting!! skinner gives them a top secret task and then worries about his agents!! frank had an emotional arc that was compelling even though we just met the guy!! which is hard to do!! mulder got to say creepy things and climb a fence and use salt magic to keep himself safe!!! and he wanted to kiss her so bad and he did!! and the world didn’t end!!! 

oh…. i would love to read the fic on their internal musings as to what happens next. what they say when they see each other next? meeting in the office. still sleepy. still in pain. still riding that high. blushing. waiting to see who will address it. and neither of them brave enough to do so. 

RAAAAH. YEAHHHHHHH!!!! I LOVE BEING ALIVE IT!!! HAS THESE FICTIONAL LOSERS FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT!!!!

mmm. i shall sleep contentedly this evening.

LMAO, WHAT?? i scrolled down to see what the next episodes said and i saw something about getting trapped in a sexy video game?? HELLO??? WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?? 

and also??? did i see donnie? from irresistible??? are they going to revisit him?? that episode is SO important to scully’s character- i really hope they do it justice. i would have preferred if they didn’t bring pusher back; i felt like his original episode was better. and there is a cops episode??? and scully with a former lover??? people like that episode- 17, right?? and they revisit their very first case in the finale?? but i was told that if i want to stop, i should stop BEFORE requiem. which is the finale. and i probably won’t. but maybe i will? idk. i don’t have a ton of time anymore……. 

hmm. there is SO much to ponder here.

i clicked to peek at the episodes in season 8 and saw a few things. woah…….

yeah. idk what i’ll do! but there’s time. the show isn’t going anywhere. hmm. it’s worth it to know what happens… even just so you know how it should be rewritten in an AU. right?

ohohohoho. the world is lowkey my oyster.

[mscherub]

hihi!!! i really, really really reallyreally like your writing!! ive been reading the posts you have on my fyp and I'm like! woah! then i saw you had your requests open and im like! heck yeah i needta get in on this! anyways can i be 🪽? (im like a bird i only flyyyy awayyyy ahh emoji)

if its all right can i request Idia with a reader who can do anything BUT confess? like they will be giggling and kicking their feet putting a heart at the end of their goodbye messages, making playlists for him with exclusively romantic songs, and complimenting him often on his skills. i know idia probably wouldn't have the guts to confess... reader will be trying to be romantic and flirt as much as possible while still being as deniable as possible to try and test the waters (they're just a coward) and gets nervous when shit gets real? and maybe eventually they take their silly flirting with possible deniability a bit too far.. sorry if its not too good i dont request stuff often..

A/N: I dunno what I’m doing to have ppl like my writing so much, BUT HEYYY 🪽

THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS UHH HEH—

(Sorry, I was like dealing with more stressful situations, AGAIN. MY LIFE IS NOT RELAXED ANYMORE I SWEAR. Ever since I decided to help out with Sports Med I’ve just been…dying😞)

Idia is a guy I love but haven’t really written for, so all I can ask is that u bear with me here. It won’t be the best!

Tags: Unshared Feelings, flirty reader,

Warnings:

U know me…Swearing <3

Mentions of shooting/guns (video games)

My cringey mentions of Overwatch. I’m sorry y’all 😞

FIRST TIME WRITING FOR MY BOY 😪

4:26 pm

Idssssss. Idia! IDIA! Gorgeous man, read my messages

You sigh and chew on the inside of your cheek as you look down at your phone. It’s so simple for someone to just pick up their phone and respond…especially Idia who’s always on some sort of technology device…but I guess not now.

He’s probably gaming with someone…maybe. Possibly one of his raids. You knew he liked to play with a whole bunch of random people online, had some people friend, but picking up his phone at the moment would be a nice thing to do…spending a moment of his time for his actual “irl” friend would be nice.

4:27

Ids. Honeyyyyy…pick up ur phone and answer my messages <3

I WANNA COME OVER AND GAME

yes or no bro >:(

ANSWER ME. GET OFF UR GAME AND PICK UP UR PHONE…

Well, this wasn’t going well. So, maybe he’s sleeping. A good thought. With his wacky sleep schedule it is a plausible thing—

Don’t ever call me that again!

You read his message and purse your lips, quirking an eyebrow in the process before you decided whether to leave him on read and give him a taste of his own medicine or just answer…of course you’re gonna answer him, who are you kidding.

Call you what?

THOSE NAME?

What, Honey…gorgeous?

…stfu

OMS DID I HIT A NERVE HEHEHEHEH, I think it’s cute. You’re probs blushin rn :P

You’re not allowed to come over to game now

WAIT IDS NO HOLD ON U ASSHOLE

…

>:(

Come over at like 4…I’m doing a dungeon rn, so stop messaging me.

Fine, Fine…suit yourself…honey <3

And left on read again…it was worth it. Even over text, getting a reaction is glorious.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Buttons are being smashed, at least to your perception of it, Idia says it’s “practiced precision”, and with each click, little “pews” emanate from the speakers of the screen. A first person shooter game! But he was in a competitive match and would not let you pick up the controller since you’d be playing on his account…he can’t trust you with all that power yet…You just gotta sit and watch.

“Thought you were against button mashing…” you mumble. Your eyes narrow at the screen as you sip on a drink and watch each shot fire come from the gun.

“In rhythm games…but I’m not just firing out anywhere I want! I’m using my ult and abilities when I need to— and in this game these guys aren’t bottom level noobs for once…but they still play a lot worse then me Weeheehee…they can take the L with their deaths.”

The controller makes a small creaking noise as he grips it harder.

“Mmm, better lock in then, Ids…”

“I already am…”

Ortho zooms in and he takes a spot behind the both of you, watching Idia take on a 1 v 5…

“You’re doing good— hey theres someone flanking behind…oh, it’s Reaper. IDIA SHOOT HIM?”

“I have this widow sniping at me every chance she gets when I put down my shield…smh. The damage can deal with the Reaper…” he sighs, and then he gets shot by said reaper…and then dies. Both of you go silent and he can already tell you’ll have something to say to him to really tick him off…

“Don’t say I didn’t tell you because I did…” Idia can hear the giggle you’re trying to suppress and he side eyes you.

“You’re not funny.”

“I find myself to be exponentially funny, Idia. Hilarious. Not histrionic.” Your hand covers your mouth as a smirk makes its way up.

“Shut up. Weirdo. Loser. L…” He grumbles. He shifts in his seat again and huffs out a puff of air, watching the countdown until he respawns.

“Sounds like you want me to go? How mean…”

That pout. That damn pout you always do. Are you trying to kill him? If so, it’s a great assassination attempt for sure…like those characters in movies that seem innocent but really aren’t. Exactly. A temptress. He’s certainly falling for the act, though— well not that he’s going to admit to that. You know what, no, he’s not falling for your tricks, actually. He’s much smarter than that. He’s not gonna be a normie and fall head over heels for someone. That’s basic stuff. He has games to worry about.

He looks away, his eyes wide, and even with his inner protests to everything, a nice pretty blush creeps up his neck and dusts his cheek and tips of his ears.

“Would you stop…” And back to the game just like that after he respawns. He grumbles under his breath. About the game at first, and then a few comments about you.

His leg bounces up and down out of nervousness. He can’t help it. The things you do to him. He hates it. Hates you.

Ok, maybe he doesn’t hate you, per se, but the way you so seamlessly corrupt his thoughts, twisting them into a singular thought of quite literally just you is completely beyond comprehension and baffling to him…plus, you couldn’t like him anyways. He’s just a shut in gamer. WAIT. Why is he thinking about that?! He totally doesn’t like you, anyways.

Again, he likes his life that way anyways, so he doesn’t care…definitely not about you. He doesn’t need anyone. You’re just a gaming buddy. Someone close, but not like a best friend. Yawn. Can’t be normal like that. It’s weird.

“Fine. Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you fall harder for me.”

That’s it. He pauses. His face flushes more and he shakes his head.

“You’re insufferable…go take your weirdo self out of my dorm and bug someone else.”

“Why should I do that? I don’t like anyone else really…plus I get to watch the master at work with his games!”

He agrees to your words. “Yea. I’m the master alright. I’m not top 500 for nothing on this game, weeheehee…plus I’ve got all the cosmetics you could ever ask for, most common to most rare. That’s what hours of grinding away on these games can get you, and that’s why I’m so good. People are even lucky to play with me! Oh—…” and he’s quiet again.

Ortho giggles, the only thing that reminded you he was also present within this conversation. “Mmm! Brother is amazing! Also, it seems that brother has elevated levels of dopamine and Oxytocin. I’ll continue to scan to gauge other parts of—“

“GAH! Ortho no!” The tips of his hair are a nice baby pink, a contrast to his usual bright blue hair.

“Scan canceled. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t need you…ugh. It’s ok. Sorry.” Idia waves Ortho off.

“Those are simply the hormones of happiness within—“

“I know, I know! Just stop it…please. Sorry.”

They both continue on like nothing happened, and the atmosphere died down again into a quiet calmness, the controller clicking making itself evident again.

“Oh…hey, ids…I gotta dip. Ace keeps spamming me about Grim. Apparently he’s trying to steal tarts again. What’s new with that, anyways.” You stand up and walk to the door. You catch a glimpse of his shoulders slumping and him biting the inside of his cheek out of possible disappointment. Though, you wouldn’t assume.

“See ya, handsome.” You push open the door and take your leave, but you don’t miss the words he squeaks out as you go.

“JUST LEAVE ALREADY!” He yelps as he shakes his head. He dies in game again.

“We won…” Idia sighs, throwing the controller gently to some area on the floor.

“As always!”

“I…find their presence nice, Ortho. Do you think they meant it when they said they don’t like anyone else. Oh! That’s too much wishful thinking! Nah, nah, nah!” The words fly out.

“With the body scan, you had raised levels of dopamine and—“

“I know…no need to say it verbatim. Ok, fine, here…I like when they come around. That’s all there is to it.” He grabs his energy drink and takes a small simp from it, bringing his knees to his chest as he falls into a deep thought.

“Is that all?” Ortho tilts his head…maybe he can help his big brother out a little.

“I…like them. Well, no. Maybe. Yes? Gah! I can’t tell them that…that’s a pathetic. I am…with that normal people stuff. Plus it’s boring. Real boring. Love is boring…” he pauses, “but…maybe not with them— WHO AM I KIDDING?! Gah…why is this difficult…”

“If big brother is happy when they’re around, then maybe you do like them! That’s normal! I like them, too, if they make you that happy!” He giggles and nods enthusiastically. Just a small push in the right direction.

“Maybe? Maybe? I’d rather not like them…it’s awkward. What’s a shut in like me going to be able to do for them?” He sets the can down.

“Lots of stuff! Look…don’t they ask you if they can come over to play? They like to spend time with you, clearly! I’d consider giving it a shot.” Ortho floats around, his eyes crinkled in a smile.

“A shot at what?” He mumbles.

“Confessing!”

“No. No way! I can’t just…walk up to them and, and. I wouldn’t know what to say…” he closes his eyes and brings his hands to his head, shaking his head at the silly idea.

“Think of what you’d say!”

“Well…I’d…say that I really like them around, you know? And when we do game, it’s fun, and they don’t really turn down any games I offer up for us to experiment with. They talk to me a lot and…always bug me, even though I say it’s annoying I really do enjoy it because it shows me that maybe they care at least a little to go out of their way and message me— enough about that. Well…also the way they don’t get deterred when I info dump. Guess I’m just really thankful they…stick around. Listen. Their eyes are pretty…their lips— NO! Ahhh…” He buries his against his knees.

“Oh! See? You’re passionate!”

“Urgh…don’t even say it…”

“All you need is a small push to tell them!” He beams.

“Like that would ever happen, Ortho. It’s fine…I’ll just…I dunno. I’m not gonna say anything, anyways. Wayyyyyy outa my comfort zone.”

Ortho sighs, clenched fits resting on his hips as he scowls at Idia. If he wouldn’t say anything, then Ortho would. Simple!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“And thennnnn, get this, guy walks up to me acting all tough and what not, stupid shit, really. He was just trying to act like he was the bigger person, anyways, but Vargas caught him and I got to sit and watch this guy run laps on end around the track. Pure gold. Ten out of ten would watch again.” You hum.

The cafeteria is as loud as usual, and the first years listen in on your stories you managed to accumulate within an hours time. Really, it was crazy how trouble seemed to follow you.

“And this started all because…” Epel quirks a brow.

“Oh! Yea, because I accidentally kicked the ball as a foul three times and then got out. Over kickball.”

“That’s childish…” Sebek frowns and continues to cut at his lunch with a knife.

“Tell me about it. I mean, kickball, it’s literally just kickball, I say that guy should be lucky they didn’t have to fly on brooms today for PE, but to each their own. His was of reacting was overzealous, for sure.”

“Has anyone seen ortho?” Jack breaks up the belabor of whatever had happened earlier. The silence is loud.

“Oh…that’s a good question—“

“Y/N! I need you to come with me! Please!” Ortho quite literally pops up out of no where, also seemingly in a rush as well. A little out of the ordinary.

“Hey— what’s up?” His hands grip around your arm and he yanks you up.

“I need you back at Ignihyde! Just for a moment, I promise!”

“W-what? It’s the middle of the school day, ortho and— wah! Ah! Ok…geez, I’m coming!” He tugs on your arm again and you stumble a little bit over the bench attached to the table. Everyone else just watches…that’s nice of them.

In a dire situation where you were actually being dragged off by some rando would they just stare and not interfere, too? Maybe.

Ortho keeps a decently tight grasp on you as he drags you out of the lunch room. Whatever he has for you must be important if he’s robbing you out of the middle of school hours…better be worth it. And hopefully you make it back for alchemy.

“So…what is it?”

“Can’t say yet! It’s a surprise!”

…

Oh.

Furtiveness wasn’t exactly what you had hoped for.

“Hey now…a little hint wouldn’t hurt, right? I have classes I need to get back to, and, I’ll be over later! I’m gonna bug Ids again so, if can wait—“

“Nope!”

He’s dead set…ok, then. You’ll be late to class and suffer the consequences. Hopefully someone vouches for you.

You reach the mirror chamber in a matter of a few minutes, the silence continuing to stretch as Ortho gains more focus at the task at hand for him, at least. You’re left to continue wondering what to make of the nature of the situation randomly sprung onto you.

You pass through the rippling, reflective surface and Ortho still doesn’t stop, actually, leading you along a little more quickly.

“I wanted to have big brother say something to you!” He finally spills the info. He pushes open idias door.

Idia looks over, not bothered at first, but then he sees you. He freezes. Clearly, you accompanying Ortho to his room was not what was meant to happen just based off of the look he gives you. Completely and utterly surprised.

“Wah..? Ortho. Y/N— Otho what are they doing here?!” He shrinks back in his chair.

“Brother! Here! I decided I must help you two out!”

You both blink.

“Help us out?” You tilt your head. “I don’t think we need any help—“

“Yes you do! It’s annoying to see the blatant flirting and the effects it has. You two need to fess up.” Ortho pulls you closer to Idia who sits in his gaming chair. He’s about ready to jump up and stand in the corner…

“There’s nothing to f-fess up. Let them go back to class!” Idia scoots his chair back, but Ortho protests with another shove on your back so you take a step closer to him.

“There is too! I want you both to be happy…” He pouts, then looks at you. “Since he won’t say it himself…”

Ortho goes quiet for a short moment until he plays some sort of audio from the speakers he has. Idias eyes go wide and he lights up pink.

“Well…I’d…say that I really like them around, you know? And when we do game, it’s fun, and they don’t really turn down any games I offer up for us to experiment with. They talk to me a lot and…always bug me, even though I say it’s annoying I really do enjoy it because it shows me that maybe they care at least a little to go out of their way and message me— enough about that. Well…also the way they don’t get deterred when I info dump. Guess I’m just really thankful they…stick around. Listen. Their eyes are pretty…their lips— NO! Ahhh…”

…

Ortho stops the recording and smiles, his eyes closing in with his proud grin.

“Oh…” you look at Idia, “did you…say that? About me? Is that…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, actually, that wasn’t me at all and that was just some ai voice that ortho made up to make it look like I said that but in reality I didn’t actually say that and you know…that was…was…why are you…what— hey!”

You move your face closer to his, head tilted still as your hands rest on the arm rests of his gaming chair.

“Stop bluffing…I’m not…mad.” You mumble.

“W-well…surely disgusted I mean cmon—“

“Shhh. No. I’m happy, Idia. Really happy. Like…a lot.”

Ortho is all giddy in the corner…

“I knew you’d be— wait. Happy? Happy?! I…what do you mean?” He pushes his head back as far as it can go against the chair. A futile attempt to hide away from the embarrassment, and of how close you are.

“Happy. Yes. I didn’t know you…actually felt like that. To be honest…I kinda thought it was all one sided…with me. I remember way back when you said you were never interested with all that sappy bullshit…I thought I didn’t have a chance…” You straighten back up, arms falling back to your sides as you ponder everything that has happened in exactly two minutes.

He visibly relaxes at the whimsy edge to your voice. He didn’t know. Thought it was all just a false show to rile him up. He thought he fell for lies. But if what you’re saying is true…

“Well…I guess I wasn’t at the start…until we got closer then…the idea became…I guess a little more appealing. Not all that much, though.” He looks away, still blushed pink.

“So…”

“Right…” he nods.

“You guys both like each other?” Ortho floats back over, worried already.

Of course you did…just the act of admitting it. You guys technically already did, but actually saying it is proving to be difficult.

“I mean…Yea…I do.” You nod.

Idia is close to just toppling over and falling to the ground from how dazed he seems to be. High off the adrenaline and embarrassment.

“I…yea.” He nods. His hands cover his face.

“Hey…none of that.” Your hands rush to grab his wrists, he jumps of course, but your grip is far from tight. At least you think. You can’t really tell. This whole this has caused a fuzzy feeling to override most of your senses.

“I like you.”

“gah! I like you too I guess I mean woah wait yea your super close wait—“

Ortho gives a small innocent push on your back again.

And, just like in any cheesy rom-com, you fall forwards and your faces get closer. Your lips touch and he instinctively wraps his arms around you to prevent you from slipping away any further.

“Big brother and Y/N!” Ortho giggles as he brings his hand up to cover the lower half of his face. “Congratulations!”

It’s comical how quick you stand up, the blush making its way to your cheeks as you cover your lips with your forearm. That didn’t just happen, did it?

Oh. It did.

“Ortho!” Is all Idia can squeak out before he shrinks away into his hoodie. He’ll need some time…

“In the end, I did you two a favor…now can we play some games? Y/N, cmon! Let’s play!”

“I have a feeling I’ll be over a lot more, now…so we can maybe play after classes” you chuckle.

Ortho thinks for a moment and nods. “Of course! Brother should be fine by then…” He smirks.

Ortho for the win.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bonus!:

Can’t believe Ortho orchestrated all of that…

Leave it to him when he’s set on something

Oh! I didn’t expect an answer so soon…guess you cooled down a bit?

Don’t say anything about what happened. I don’t need to replay the memory again

So you’ve been thinking about it, huh?

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

It’s ok, heh…we have more time to explore in the future ;)

…I feel you’re relentless on the flirting and saying weird crap will not cease

Nope! It’ll get worse

Good to know

Hey, I gotta go, class is starting!

Ok…text me soon, IF you want not forcing you or anything it’s really just a good suggestion and all that

I will, I promise

…

I love you

Read

Say it back once you’ve calmed down…

Oh! I’ll make us a playlist later, too…so that is an invitation to send me music recs. Plz

Sure…also

Guess I love you too. I can’t believe I said that!

Proud of you!

This would go just fine—

“Hand over the phone.” Crewels gloved hand is palm up and expectant. You look up at him and sigh, trying a pout, yet it never works. “Cmon, pup, I won’t have anyone disobeying rules. You’ll get it back after class.”

“Yes, sir…”

Passes out

Urgh…I’m tired now chat. Mmkay…baiajwozjaozkaibxlanwlzhalsibwlzuwla RAH

this is as good as it’s gonna get, shorter than I wanted, but my bed is calling me 😪

Master List

Please don't steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you'd want to!

Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland, and from off of Pinterest, but are edited by me :)

[melancholiaincarnate]

hell-bent

warnings: brief descriptions of pain and injuries

note: helloo :3 this is another little ficlet to this fic . im going to make a series masterlist - eventually - but i cannot be bothered to do so right now. anyways - if u wanna see more of them lmk or send in requests hehehehehe

"oh she is the cutest!" feyre swoons, her arms extending towards the child that's hiding behind temperance.

"say hi, piper." you look down and behind your legs to where the girl is clutching onto your pant thighs. though she's got a small fear in her eyes, she still peeks out slightly, taking in the view of your family. five very intense pairs of eyes stare back at her. "it's okay, pip." you whisper, "they're my family."

"hello everyone." she says softly, her voice no higher than the squeak of a small kitchen mouse. "where's azzy?" she questions, looking up and big eyes stare at you.

rhys looks at feyre, a knowing smirk playing upon his face, and a matching one on hers. they've both got that look in their eyes that they get when they're communicating through the bond - you roll your eyes knowing that they're never going to let azriel live down the nickname.

"he'll be here soon. he's just a little busy right now." you smooth down her hair with a gentle hand and she frowns, stepping behind you more as cassian approaches, a grin on his features.

"since when do you have a kid?" he questions, crouching down to eye level with piper. he cranes his neck to attempt to see her but she tucks herself behind you even more. "ooh! lemme guess the father. lemme guess - it's az, isn't it! i always knew you two were fucking."

"she's not mine. and watch your mouth." you huff, kicking cassian lightly and he topples over. "remember the mission rhys sent me on?" cassian nods from his spot on the floor. "i found her." you wince at your choice of words - you definitely could've phrased that better. piper seems to be unaffected by your words, instead choosing to let her shadows sniff out cassian.

"what do you mean you found her? you can't just take people's kids, dude. that's super illegal." cassian scoffs, "how do you 'find' a kid and just take her? rhys, that has to be illegal-" he sits up, but his eyes furrow as he sees little tendrils of black whirling around his arms. "isn't that-"

"there's another shadowsinger in velaris." rhys muses from his spot at the table. "we thought it best for her to come here and train here with our shadowsinger."

"so you just.. took her?" cassian looks bewildered, "dude.. this high lord shit has to have some rules to it. you can't just take kids!" he stands up, stretching, before peeking around your legs to see pip staring back at him. "hi." he grins, "i'm cassian." then, he bends down to whisper, "i'm kind of the coolest one here. everyone else here sucks."

"pip, don't listen to him. he's a moron." you sigh and hear little giggles from behind you, whispers of shadows trailing up your arms. there was one shadow though, that stayed nestled in your neck. it didn't belong to the girl, no, it was one of azriel's shadows that had seemed to take a strong liking to you and preferred you over its master.

"you're very silly mr. cassian." she comments, peeking out a little more. you're grateful for cassian's resolve and the things he's seen - you don't know what you'd do if he made piper feel any worse about her current condition. you don't know what azriel would do if he found out that someone dared look at piper with disgust.

piper steps out and the inner circle holds their breaths. her left eye has a deep scratch on it that stretches from her eyebrow to right underneath her eye. it seems to be healing well, but it settles painfully in everyone's gut to see such a large scar on a pure face.

the rest of her face is filled with smaller scratches. thankfully ones that won't scar. no one's seen it yet - but if piper turned around there would be a missing pair of wings on her back.

no one comments. based on the way cassian and rhys look - they're ready to kill whoever did this to this girl, and they'd only known her for less than an hour. even nesta, normally cold-faced, looks full of anger.

piper pulls on your pant leg and points to the table. you hold her hand and her limping does not go unnoticed by your family. she's relearning to walk without the weight of her wings - and feyre's eyes widen once she realizes.

piper's movements are stiff and the table is silent. for the first time in years, the entire house is silent.

conversation starts up as you help pile food onto piper's plate. despite her condition, her eyes still sparkle with glee. as soon as she puts her first spoon in her mouth, the door to the dining room opens and piper turns quickly,.

"azzy!" everyone is blown back by how loud her shriek is. they're even more surprised at how fast she manages to sprint across the dining room and into azriel's arms, despite her condition. "you came back!"

he picks her up, balancing her on one hip with ease. "told ya i would, pip." his voice is soft as he pats the top of her head. their shadows intertwine and zip around the two of them, as if they were doing their own catching up. "did you do your training today?"

"i did!" her movements have caught up to her and she leans against his legs for support, her breathing becoming labored. he notices, and shadows come to swirl around her legs, ready to catch her if she falls. "i walked all the way down the stairs today! by myself!"

the inner circle watches in awe as the shy little girl they'd just seen exploded into personality at the sight of the quiet and stoic spymaster. rhys smiles to himself - he knew that bringing the girl here was a good idea.

"that's great progress, pip." azriel's voice is laced with exhaustion. his eyes finally catch yours - but only because he felt the pool of your emotions in his chest. he nods softly at you, once to tell you he's okay, and he watches your shoulders relax. "tomorrow we're going to go to the healer's again. she wants to -" azriel glances at the inner court, "she wants to check up on you."

"okay." she smiles, "maybe we can walk there! and i can do it by myself this time!"

"i think you can do it, pip." azriel hums, "how about we go eat? i'm starving." he looks up at you, and smiles again, "and then we can go back to your room and finish that puzzle." "yes!" piper nods quickly, "yes, please!" she holds onto azriel's hand for support, and doesn't flinch when her hands touch his marred ones.

azriel sits between you and piper, his eyes watching every single person at the table as they interact with the girl. they may be his family, but if one person - even his own brothers, made a wrong move, he'd flip the table over. his protection for the girl ran deep - so much so that it worries him.

his shadows whisper that it's alright - his protection is justified. they whisper he'll never have to act to protect her, they'll do it for him. and they whisper that if he does have to act, it'll be justified. they whisper to him that the carnage he'd bring for this girl is justified.

so azriel lets his worries go. they're right.

[theonetruegnome]

Happy Critterween!

I KNOW I'M LATE, AND I'M SO SORRYYYYYYYYY! D: The ADHDemon just got into my head, and what with college and being sick I just lost all motivation. I'm really sorry guys, I'll try and do the Christmas one in time, but no promises, what with motivation and my attention span TmT Also, Really quick, big thanks to @funny-critter-blog @daydreamer36 @smilingcrittersthingig @putterpen @that1garrulousfan @ali-the-weirdo @thefoolishone666 @eggonicayto and @t-x-sc, just for being amazing moots, people in general and supporting to me/listening to my ideas/helping me to write this. I love all of you so much it hurts, and I wouldn't trade my friendship with any of you for all the rice in china or the pearls in the sea.

Edit: I AM SO SORRY, I FORGOT A MOOT-

ANYWAY-

______________________________________________________________ 'No Mom, I won't take anything homemade from strangers! I love you too.'

Eli stepped out of his house, his mother stepping outside to kiss him goodbye one more time.

'*MWAH!* Be safe Eli! And stick with the others, I don't want you to go wandering off.' 'I will mom! Jeez, it's like you've never sent me outside before!' 'Well, what kind of mother would I be if I didn't worry obsessively about you? Oh, and remember-' 'Yes, I'll go straight to Dad's house, and make sure he calls you so you know I'm safe. I knowww!' The grins and hugs him to her side quickly. '-Remember to have fun. Go on then, I won't hold you up any more...'

Beaming, she gave Eli a gentle push, which Eli responded to my running off like there were wolves at his heels.

Eli ran along the street and quickly came to the play park, where he said he'd meet the others. Almost immediately, he started to tap his foot impatiently. His hand soon followed, drumming against the park railing without any sort of rhythm. He glanced up and down the street, even though he'd only been there for about twenty seconds. His ADHD was making it incredibly hard to wait, especially since he ought to have been out harassing homeowners out of free candy. He smiled at the thought of his mum trying to get him to bed later that night...

He soon spotted a pair of smaller critters coming towards him, literally skipping hand-in-hand. It was difficult to tell who was who due to their costumes, but he had a good idea...

'Hey Eli!' 'Callum! Leah!'

He pulled them into a very very weak Eli squeeze™, though he still heard Leah whimper and squirm.

'Eli, please! I'm carrying Precious cargo here!' He released his grip on them both. 'Sorry Leah! I'm just so excited for-! Wait, what cargo?'

Leah was wearing a fuzzy bee costume, complete with a little black and yellow hat and a stinger on her butt. It was only slightly unconvincing, and that was only because she was still wearing her cardigan over the striped fabric. She held up a small belt sewn into her costume, which was holstering several jars of honey.

'OOOOHHH, right, bee... Also, may I just say, you are ADORABLE!' Leah giggled and looked away, blushing. 'No, I'm really not... I bet I look silly really...' 'No, don't say that Leah! Eli's right, you are the cutest little BeeBear I've ever seen!' 'You must not have seen many BeeBears then!' 'Leah, listen to me-' Callum grabbed Leah by the shoulders; 'We all love you dearly, you are a key member of our group, and you are an adorable little bumblebee. I don't care what you say, my opinion and everyone else's is that you are cute. Understand?' '...I Understand, Callum.' 'Ok, come here...' He pulled Leah into a cuddle, and Eli started squealing with delight. Once Callum released Leah, Eli turned to him:

'So, do you know where-' 'ELIIIIIII!'

Sunny came suddenly running up to him, and Eli was almost actually knocked over by the force of her tackle-hug.

'JESUS-'

Sunny chuckled, and quickly released him, beaming wildly.

'How the heck are you Eli?' 'I'm- I'm good... Jesus christ you scared me!' 'hehehehehe! Sorry! I just couldn't help it, it's just so exciting, don't you think?' '...Don't we trick or treat every year?' 'Well, yeah. But that doesn't mean I can't still be excited!' 'Touché, sunny. Touché... what are you supposed to be, anyways?' 'isn't it obvious?' She was wearing an ornate falcon headdress, a cardboard double crown, a short robe and carrying an ankh. '...Hawkman?' 'Wha- no, Eli, I'm Horus!' '...' 'The Egyptian sun god?' 'Yeah, I still don't know who that is.' Sunny sighed and looked over to Eli and Dandy, visibly 'Awwww!'-ing at the sight of the two of them.

After quickly complimenting Callum's Rum Tum Tugger costume and Leah's fuzzy bee threads, Sunny spoke up.

'So, anybody know where the other four of our entourage are?' 'Umm... n-no idea, sorry Sunny.' 'I was just asking the same thing.' 'Me neither.'

Everybody jumped at the sudden gruff voice. Dandy began laughing loudly and mirthfully at their surprise. She was wearing a batman costume, and blended seamlessly into the shadows.

'Oh my god, that was priceless!' Eli immediately started laughing as well, beaming 'DANDY!' 'H- Ha- how long w-were you w-w-waiting to do th-that?' She shrugged, 'I'unno. What time is it, six PM? So that's fifteen... then forty five.... about four hours-ish?' 'You were waiting to scare us for Four HOURS?!' 'Oh, no, I only concocted my master plan about three hours in when I realised how dark my costume is. On account of... I'm Batman. I already climbed the tree to wait because my feet got tired.' 'Well, may I just say, it was GENIUS! I wish I'd thought of it!' 'Thanks! But you probably don't Eli. The branches are too thin and spindly. Like Leah's arms.' 'HEY! They're not-! Wait, actually, no, you're right, they are, sorry...' 'Ok, I think that's enough discussing Dandy's genius-' 'NEVARRR!' '-Anyone seen the others?' 'Oh, yeah, Mana's just down there in the park on the swingset.' 'Oh, okay then, I'll just go get her-' 'No need Sunny, already here!' 'Right, so now we need to find Conk and Munchy. Anyone have any ideas where they could be?' 'Conk messaged me half an hour ago, if that helps?' 'Well, what'd he say?' ''Leaving the house soon, just helping Cham but on her costume.'' 'Did he-' ''Meet you guys outside the park?' I told him yes, we'd wait.' 'Ok, great! Now all that's left is to find Munchy. Any ideas anyone?' Nobody spoke up. In the meantime, Callum was suspiciously edging his way away from the group, and faced away from them, his body oddly stiff. 'Cal'?' '....Oh, I promised I wouldn't tell, but I can't do it! ' '...Munch isn't coming...' '......WHAT?!'

______________________________________________________________

[local-troubled-writer]

WIP Wednesday

Helllooooooo

Technically it is not Wednesday anymore but technicalities are for rookies.

Was I tagged in this? No. Am I still posting it? Yes bc this WIP makes me giggle and kick my feet.

Anyways! Please enjoy some WAG Oscar content.

“You want to be a fan of someone who hasn’t won in three years?” Lando turns as he dumps the rubbish into a bin and slides the plate onto a pile. He catches Oscar’s eye and watches as he pulls his backpack onto his shoulders and crosses his arms. It's not his fault it makes Oscar’s biceps look massive.  “I already told you. It’s coming, you just gotta be patient. It's my job to know these things.” Oscar pushes off of the table and steps towards Lando.  It suddenly feels like every word he’s ever said has gotten stuck in his throat. Oscar’s not actually that much taller than him but his presence seems to loom large. He tries not to like the way it makes him feel. “Patience has never been my strong suit.” Lando swallows. “We all have to learn new skills now and then,” Oscar winks.

@sixteenthirtythreeeightyone hehehehehe

[lolipoptheclown]

okay! quick refresher:

calix - werewolf who works at the candy club, patty’s son, and he’s generally a well-liked guy (especially popular with kiddos). because he’s supernatural, he can kind of sense others who are as well.

^ his reference stuff

viper - human-eating thing that works with patty at the morgue (he eats a lot of the bodies, or at least parts of them), bob velseb’s son. he hadn’t been outside until bob died (saw the news on the tv and left. he can shapeshift into the form of anyone its consumed the blood of

doodles of viper because it doesn’t have a reference yet + a drawing of him shape shifted to radford

anyone it shapeshifts into will still have crescent moons in their eyes to show it’s not Them!

OOOOOH VIPER IS SO COOL WHAT I LOVE IT SM I was not aware that he could turn into other people until now and I'm very happy I learned that

And yes yes okay my memory of father alpha Calix was correct okay ty

So... hmmmmmm.... who am I gonna make interact with these guys......... wait I got it. Playing dolls time /silly

(this is gonna be really long I apologize)

Okay so since Calix is a werewolf, I'm gonna place him beside Castor/Fangs. Since Castor+Fangs share a body and turn into each other. And Calix also transforms into something. They're interacting now. GIGGLES

Drawings of these two

ANYWAYS... I think Castor pre-going-nuts would think Calix is really cool!! Since Calix is so well-liked, yk. He'd also think it's great that Calix is a werewolf, he'd kinda be like "ohmygod finally someone that isn't human like me" and be very happy about it JSJSJS. But also, since Castor is naturally a nervous person, he'd probably be not very great at conversation. But he's trying his best lol. I imagine that he'd come in to get candy for Bob and be the worst nervous wreck you've ever seen. Castor also tends to freak people out because of how he looks, too. His eyes, if drawn in a more realistic way, would be like pure white with two tiny pupils, and he has too many teeth. Like... There's too many in each row. So idk how Calix would react to that.

And if Calix somehow came across Fangs, Fangs would probably be mean to him. Fangs is just a piece of shit like that. But Fangs also doesn't talk. It's probably said like two sentences ever. Fangs is also like 9ft 10in tall so uh... yeah. Fangs probably wouldn't physically hurt him too badly, mostly just mess with him. Like knocking over a candy display, or flicking Calix's nose lmao. Maybe steal some candy too. Good luck Calix /silly

VIPER'S TURN. I'm gonna choose uh... Charles. I don't talk about Charles enough so I wanna use him for something, and I think this works HEHEHE

Charles drawings. They're kinda old except the first one so they suck a bit

Charles is kind of. Hard to interact with. Idk how to describe him. He talks in short sentences, and doesn't really show emotion. His expression is usually blank. He's also BRITISH!!!! HE'S BRITISH!!! but yeah. He's not human, also. He's a species of monster that grows into a human disguise and then gains humans's trust so they can kill+eat them. He doesn't feel guilty about this at all, it's just his nature. He'd probably try to kill Viper at first, but upon realizing he's not human, which he's good at pointing out fake humans, he'd be chill. He doesn't go after non-humans, he thinks they taste bad. I like to think that Charles would get caught trying to eat a body in the morgue and that's how they met lol, and he'd definitely be impressed about Viper being able to turn into other people despite not showing it too much. Idk if Viper would like Charles or not, though, since it's hard to hold a conversation with him... Oh, and Charles is associated with the cult a bit, not part of it though. One of his boyfriends is a cultist and the other is a cult supporter. Idk if this would affect an interaction with Viper or not.

Okay, sorry for how long this is! That's all! Your characters are just really cool so I had a lot of ideas hehehehehe+I wanted to make sure I explained enough of their lore that an interaction would be accurate...

[myunghology]

hihii ate jian‼️‼️ (shettt r u even a girl.. ion know) i don’t rly send in asks to ppl in general but liek i’ve binged a lot of ur works already so i js wanna say how much i luv them lots ^_^ never fails to make me giggle or smile a lil THANK U FOR THE FOODDDD ON GOD . ur recent riddle smau is lowk making me think of getting into twst actually ,, so thank u again for tjat😋😋

anyway been thinkign a lot ab ur vbs girlcrush fic that rewired my brain …. vbs being the cuties ever but like What If i make an akito/reader smau based off of it. would that be okay btw?? haven’t rly thought ab it that much but emrmrm here’s what i have from my short brainstorming session so far :3

okok so reader is kohane’s cousin from america transferring to kamiyama ,, obvs still the same person from the girlcrush fic except they advanced to a yr nd befriend rui n tsukasa ,, eventually nene too idk !!!! lowk still debating if i wanna make reader childhood friends w/ akito or if he js finds them familiar cs they’ve talked to ena before… arjfj it’s still all over the place I SWEAR I’LL PROPERLY SORT THIS INTO AN ACTUAL SMAU IF I HAVE THE MOTIVATION🙏🙏 +i gotta finish reading wxs’ main story too cs i’ve only read vbs nd niigo events so far‼️‼️ ts is all i know rn nd that i want it to be a slight slowburn maybe … bisaya an + akito will be canon here do u get me jian

HELPPPP i am just a jian.. jk i use any pronouns but i am biologically a girl!! ALSO HEHEHEHEHE THANK U SMMMM kinikilig ako ng sobra enebeeee... 🤪🤪🤪😳😳😳 get into twst again or else (holds u at gunpoint)

ALSO ABT THE SMAU UESSS im totally cool w/ it, as long as im the first one on the taglist then we're good 🙏🙏 it's nice to see people asking for permission when they take inspo instead of just blatantly taking it bru.

the idea is banging U'RE COOKING SO HARD GNG 🔥🔥🔥🔥 but lowk akito only being familiar w the reader from ena>>> bc i need to see his fake nice guy persona as he slowly turns progressively meaner the more he likes reader BUT ANYHOWWWW. BISAYA AN AND AKITO YESSSSS they're so weird i love em. BUT OFC TAKE IT ON YOUR OWN PACE DON'T RUSH OR ANYTH HAHAHHAHA. I'LL B WAITING THOOO!!!!

[joemama-2]

guess who's back😼 (I hope u remember me lol

HELLOOOO DID U MISS ME? 🤭🤭 I MISSED UUU AND OMG VELVET LIES "new" CHAPTER IS SO FUCKING GOOD ISTG

ngl I almost cried in the beginning

and when satoru kissed reader and said, "I'll fix things. For us" ugh i was BREATHLESS. literally, I thought I was having a panic attack THAT SOUNDS SILLY AND SO NOT TRUE, BUT I HEAVEN KNOWS HOW I REACTED TO THAT SCENE

I missed giggling and kicking my feet while reading VL so bad im glad im back and I'm hoping you will release a new chapter soon because GOD I LOVE VL AND X0IAV2QI7XLQH7WQO9W

sorry for being absent, classes started here in Brazil in February and I simply forgot completely about Tumblr and everything here

little update about my life: IM DATING A FINE BEAUTIFUL AMAZING MAN THE LOVE OF MY LIFE🥳🥳🎉🎉 somehow I managed to find someone who loves me even when I'm throughly, completely and absolutely obsessed with a fictional character (gojo)🔥🔥

anyway I hope you, my majestic princess, are healthy and still likes writing fanfiction (id kill myself if you stopped/j) TAKE CARE💞💞💞

☝️ how I feel coming back months after disappearing completely

OFC I REMEMBER U BAE!!! ❤️ 💕 💝 and omg, why is everyone ik getting booed up, ugh? #whenisitmyturn

but almost crying 😭 honestly felt that. i enjoyed writing the last chapter a lot heheheheh! cant wait to make you even more breathless with the future chaps oop. whenever I write vl gojo and reader tho, I cheese nonstop like ughhrhhrh.

anyway, take care boo love ya 😘

[cherryluvrx3]

meat lovers amirite??

Dave Strider x Reader X Karkat Vantas

Chapter 3

[masterlist]

I stopped pacing around the room when I heard the doorbell ring. I practically ran to the door then stopped just in front to compose myself. Straighten out my clothes and pat my hair down and take a deep breath before I opened the door.

Dave, who was waiting on the other side, heard the heavy footsteps of someone running to the door.

‘Am I gonna get jumped??’

The pause.

‘Maybe they had a change of heart.’

The deep breath.

‘No they’re definitely getting ready to fight me.’

And the door opened to reveal a.. sweaty, nervous looking dude- the same one from last time actually.

“Uh..” Dave quickly peaked behind them and didn’t see anyone else, hiding or otherwise. “Your friends didn’t set you up like last time?” He smiled albeit a bit nervously.

“Oh! No I eh.. just.. asked for you myself..”

“..really?”

“Yeah really..”

“…”

Awkward….

“….Right.. well your total is $9.99..” Dave took out the pizza from his little pizza carrier.

“Hopefully it isn’t burnt this time.” I joked and Dave seemed to look surprised.

“Wait really? Your pizza was burnt last time?”

“Uh yeah, like half of the pepperoni was singed. I mean my friend ate it anyway but still.” I said and took note of how he looked sort of confused.

“Yeah that’s.. kinda weird? My friend is the one who makes the pizzas and he usually follows the Pizza Hut pizza making regulations like, word for word. Sort of like a perfectionist? I feel like if he burnt a pizza he would’ve remade it. Or are these false accusations you're putting on my bro’s name?” Dave questioned with a quirked brow and crossed arms.

“No?? Why would I lie about that dude?” I laughed.

“Well I mean, you didn’t call to replace it either.”

“Yeah ‘cause my friend already tore that shit up.” I snickered and pulled out a $10 bill to pay him. He seemed more relaxed now, smiling as he took the money.

“Oh, keep the change, buy yourself something nice.” I winked. “Well aren't you made of money? Sure you can give so much to little ol’ me?” He chuckled and pocketed the bill. “I have more money than I know what to do with man.” I lied confidently as if this pizza didn’t use up the rest of the money I had for the week. “Ha! Have a good one. I’ll let you know if anyone I know needs a sugar daddy or something.” He laughed and walked off.

I closed the door.

Hehehehehe!!!!!

I giggled and tossed the pizza on the counter, running to my couch and flopping down to text the group chat, my legs kicking behind me.

Me

-GUYS

-GUYS OMGGG

Roxy <3

-wat wat wat!!!

Me

-I talked to him :3

Roxy <3

-wooo!!! yeah baby!!

Tezi >:]

-Ok… and?

Me

-wym

Gamz :o)

-so what else

Me

-I just

-Talked to him

-Idk what you want me to say

Nepetita :3

-(Y/n)!!! You have to do more than just TALK to get close to him!! *Nepeta pouts and taps her foot*

Me

-IDK WGAF TO DO!!??

-Like I think,, laughing with him and making small talk is a good start righttt

Roxy <3

-yep def a good start

Tezi >:]

-Stop feeding into their delusions!!

Roxy <3

-what i do? 😭

Tezi >:]

-You’re coddling them and letting them take baby steps! They need to make big jumps to make progress >:/ you could’ve asked what school he goes to, how old he is, when his birthday is, his work schedule, his address or

-Or something!!

Gamz :o)

-yeppp exactly what she said

-remember I said ya gots to take risks babe

Me

-mannn >:/ let me take baby steps

Roxy <3

-yea!! theres norhing wrong with wanting to tske things slow and easy

-its better rhan them coming off as desperate tbh

Nepetita :3

-I guess… but still!! You have to do a little better than having a short pleasant conversation with him okie?? At the end of the day we want you to be happy but you gotta try to okie??

Me

-Yeahhhh :/

-I guess I can like.. go to the actual place and try to chat him up there then ask for his number?

Gamz :o)

-mhm that’s a good idea lil mama

Me

-Yeeeshhh I’m just so like nervous cuz he’s like… so cool

-Like what if he thinks I’m a loser and laughs in my face

-I think I would die

Tezi >:]

-Then fuck that guy!!!

Roxy <3

-yeah I don’t rhink you gotta worry bout nothing

-like I’m very sure if that happens terezi and gamzee r gonna stuff him in a oven 💀

Gamz :o)

-fuck yeah we will

Nepetita :3

-don’t be nervous! You’re literally so epic! I purrmise he’s gonna end up liking you beclaws who wouldn’t!!

Me

-dawwww :>

-ty little meow meow

Nepetita :3

-:3 *hugs you*

Me

-*accepts hug*

Tezi >:]

-*TEARS HUG APART

-*GRABS (Y/N) BY SHOULDERS AND SHAKES THEM*

-YOU CAN DO THIS

-YOU BETTER DO THIS

-BECAUSE WE’RE ALL TIRED OF YOU COMPLAINING OF NOT HAVING A BOYFRIEND

Me

-Okay okay!!

-I’ll try harder

-not today or tomorrow tho

-soon tho!! I swear

-I got missing work too do remember

-but yeah I’ll try harder

Roxy <3

-great :)))

I sigh and toss my phone on the couch while I get up to eat the pizza that’s probably gone a bit cold now.

Yeah I’ll definitely approach him better. Someday.

Damn this pizza is burnt again?

———

The bell on the door jingled as Dave entered the store. He tossed the keys back to Aradia who was looking through a crusty magazine from 2015.

“Do you want me to take over deliveries again? We got two more calls.”

“Uh yeah but stay here for a bit? Need to chat with Karkat real quick ‘fore I man the phones again.”

“…but the customers need their pizzas.” She looked at him with a strangely intense gaze.

“Uh.. they can wait a few minutes bro. It’s not the end of the world.” He nervously joked before dipping to the back.

“Hey kat.” He greeted his friend who just finished boxing a pizza. “Oh. What do you want Dave?” He grumbled and moved the pizza to the counter for Aradia to grab.

“So the guy I delivered to just told me the craziest thing. That the pizza they got a few days ago was actually..” Dave paused for dramatic effect, “burnt..” he slapped his hand over his mouth in faux surprise.

Karkat visibly stiffened.

Dave didn’t notice though because he was more focused on teasing Karkat.

“I thought your pizzas were your ‘works of art’? Your ‘babies’? And you burnt one? What if this affects the store's reviews huh?” He laughed and elbowed Karkat.

It was then he noticed the strange look of guilt on Karkat’s face.

“Uh..dude?”

“..it was a mistake. So what if some schmuck got a burnt pizza?” He grumbled and went off to look for something to occupy his hands.

“Well yeah I wasn’t accusing you of doing it on purpose,” Dave paused and turned to look at Karkat, “did you.. do it on purpose..?” He asked, with a confused smile.

“AGH!”

uh oh.

“WHO CARES!?”

here it comes.

“GET OUT! GET OUT!! GO DO YOUR FUCKING JOB DICKBAG STRIDER!”

Karkat snapped and shoved Dave out the kitchen and back to the front of the store.

Before Dave could try to talk to him again, Karkat already rushed to the break room and slammed the door shut.

“…”

“.. I will go deliver the pizzas now.” Aradia got up quickly, snatching the two pizza boxes and leaving.

Dave checked the clock to see how long he had left on his shift.

2 hours.

Goddamnit.

———

a/n - I sure use "..." a lot... but I like it.. hehe...

idk its just so I can portray the timing of their pauses while they speak and they make a lot of pauses *skull emoji*

also nepeta's contact name is 'nepetita'. I'm mexican and adding "ita" to something is sort of saying "little" in an affectionate way so her contact is saying 'little nepeta' if any of u are confused

[sunny6677]

The Stars: The Novellized Version.

Summary:

In the year of 2011, Skid and Pump spend most of their nights in October trying to celebrate the spookiest month. Yet during one of these adventures on a late night, they end up meeting a peculiar new.. friend.

CHAPTER 1, PT 2: Franks Van.

TWS FOR IMPLIED KIDNAPPING, FRANK BEING A SLY SON OF A BITCH, ETC

————

..about a few minutes later after calling out to his mom—saying his friend was coming over, he heard his mother shout something back in reply. But he couldn't exactly make it out, only hearing the faint noise of something slamming against the wall.

She must have been having a lot of fun! Skid couldn't help but feel his little lips curl into a smile at the thought of how happy she was. Yet, he wished not to interrupt there, so he sat near the telephones desk.

Enveloped in the cool, silent air of the house occasionally broken by more noises—he waited. And waited. And waited.

...

Then the door finally rang. And his gaze immediately fell to the blind coveted window with patches of pitch black visible outside. It was so quiet he could practically hear the crickets from out there.

And at the sound of the door ringing, a euphoria filled him. For already, he knew who it was.

Shooting up to his feet with a high pitched giggle—he began to shake his hands in sheer excitement. Within a few seconds, he ran straight to the door, his hand fumbling on the doorknob for a moment before he grasped it. And with a swift motion (and a click), the door came open with a fresh gust of wind as he pulled.

Air seeped into the holes of his mask, and.. like he was used to, a pumpkin masked face with a tooth gap visible in the mouth-piece greeted him.

"Heheheh.. ayyyy!"

"Ayyyyy!"

Skid lifted his hand in the air, waving back and forth frantically as if his pumpkin-mask wearing friend wasn't standing there a few steps away from him.

The scent of grass began to fill his nostrils as he stepped out onto the firm stone doorstep, reaching out his little arms around his smaller friends chubby torso. Embracing him fully. Pump giggled in response, hugging back.

After a few short moments, they pulled away—Skid gave a flick of his head as he looked down upon his friend.

"How—how are—"

"You—you ready to go get ice cream?"

"Oh—yes! Eheheheh.." Skid laughed in a high pitched manner, nodding frantically.

"Okay! Let's go then!"

"Heheheheh—"

Skid fully stepped out onto the doorstep, turning himself around and grabbing at the doorknob once more. He called out to his mother who was still presumably inside.

"Mooooom! I'm going out now!"

..there wasn't any response, but Skid felt as if his mother probably heard him anyway. So, he shrugged.

With a smile, he pulled the door shut, and it gave a simple click.

————

Under the sheet of the night they wondered, speckles of flickering stars filling the air as they ran across the familiar sidewalk of the town. Cool air in the breeze and rushing past them the farther they ran.

The grass of the front yards the same. The fire hydrant the same. The streetlights—the same. Despite a year having passed—for it was now the year of 2011, everything was sort of how he remembered it. Only with a few minor changes to the different houses around, like vases or flowerbeds. Different vehicles neighbors had bought.

The crickets ambience still rung in the peaceful air of the town—and the mere sound of them made Skid smile. Gusts of air filled his mouth anytime he opened it.

And as he grinned from ear to ear, running around different stretches of fences and so on—his eyes laid upon a more long narrow stretch of a road that they began to turn on. His heart slightly pounded, for he already knew what would be here.

He let his eyes glance around momentarily. As ever, there were barely any vehicles parked in the area. At least all except for one.

The moment his eyes landed on it, his pace increased. And as did Pumps.

"Look—heheh—" Giggled Pump, "It's—It's Mr Franks vaaaaan!"

"Yeah—it is! Heheheh.."

A white van was parked near the stone sidewalk. Rusted with its metal window completely shut.

With unimaginable speed, Skid felt himself began to practically rush toward the van—slowly getting closer and closer. Only finally as he closed in with Pump at his side did he stop. The rush of wind felt like another wave of energy simply washing over him.

"Heheh—" Skid shook his head, "Fraaaaaank!"

..no one answered. He let out a long, excited exhale. Pump began to speak as well.

"Fra—"

"Mr Frank?"

Still, no one replied. Yet—there wasn't any need to worry. He sort of knew what to do anyway.

Taking a step foward, he slowly reached his arm backward. At the same time, Pump appeared to do the same thing—and with a rough flinch, their arms shot foward and began to bang on the lower part of the vehicle.

Bang, bang, bang.

Bang, bang, bang.

Finally, after a few moments—there was the sound of something rather quickly sliding open. His eyes flickered upward—being met by the sternly shadowed gaze of a muscular face.

The face opened its mouth—as if about to yell. Yet, it quickly froze, and a half-smile began to form on its lips.

"..oh. Heheh.."

It dryly chuckled, stammering as a muscular arm slowly rested on the shelf of the window.

"He—Hey, kids."

"Hi, Frank!"

"Hey, Mr. Frank!"

Franks face slowly emerged a little more from the shadows, the blue shirt worn around his large body slightly more visible now. Hairs emerging from the skin of his arms. A little white cap worn over his shaggy black hair. Pale skin visible in the moonlight.

The man's half-lidded eyes slightly trailed over them as they giggled, his smile turning a bit wider.

"What are you—"

Smiling, Skid asked, "Do—do you have ice cream?"

"..ice-cream?" Frank repeated slowly, and gave a hearty chuckle. "'Course I do, kid. Got something special for you two actually."

"Something—"

Skid let out a gasp as Pump spoke.

"Something special?"

"Yeah.. hehehe.." Frank lowly chuckled, "Hold on, kids. Just stay there. Gimme a sec."

Skid cocked his head to the side, wondering what he could have meant. Was it something spooky? Frank turned his back briefly to them both, nothing being visible but the blue fabric of his slim shirt.

They could both make out the sight of his long muscular arms shifting around in the shadows for what felt like a minute. The sound of something opening then came, and then a click.

Finally, he turned—his arms emerging out of the shadows. "Here, kids. Take it."

Held in his two large hands.. was a vanilla cone, and a frozen orange sherbert popsicle. Yet, unlike many ice creams, they were both made to be extra special.

The vanilla cone had two black eyes drawn on it, with a playful smile and two lines drawn to make it look skeletal—it was even somewhat shaped like the head of a skeleton, and it almost looked as if some strange sugary substance was on it.

The orange sherbert popsicle on the other hand was shaped into a pumpkin, with the green stem being (presumably a lime flavor) straight at the top—two round black eyes were drawn on it, with a toothy smile drawn as well. Sort of like Pumps own.

Realizing he had been staring with his mouth agape, Skid took the vanilla cone which was presumably meant for him—while Pump took the sherbert popsicle already.

He held the cool cone in his hands, licking at it softly and feeling the frozen vanilla taste entering his mouth. It was yummy already!

He giggled at the taste, looking up. "Thank you, Mr Frank! Eheheh.."

"No problem, kid." Frank huffed out, chuckling. He swallowed for a moment as Pump licked at his own. And as if sensing they were going to leave anyway, Frank poked his head out a little further.

He simply said, while letting his eye trail on something they seemingly couldn't see. His voice sounded lower now. "..hey, kid. Why don't you run along and eat your ice cream now, okay? Think I got another customer coming up. Haha.."

"Customer?"

"Yeah.. heheh.. don't—don't look at 'em though. It's a special customer."

"Special?" Skid repeated. "..uhh—okay, Frank! Hehehe.. come on, Pump!"

He grinned, motioning in the opposite direction of the sidewalk. "Let's go see if that Clown man is still in that alleyway!"

"Oh—yes! He's funny!" Pump nodded. He waved, keeping his head turned from the left direction Frank said not to look in. "Bye-bye, Frank!"

"Buh-byeeee!" Skid giggled.

"See ya, kids."

With a swift motion, Skid began to run foward along the stone sidewalk—hearing Pump run up from behind him as his hair bounced in his round mask.

For a moment he swore, as he ran and ran—he saw a glimpse of a strangely familiar ginger-headed kid slowly walking up to the van.

But, he quickly looked away. It was a special customer, so he couldn't look.

Besides.. it's not like Frank had any other reason besides the customer being being special that he didn't want them to see the customers right?

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #14 act 6 p5

we are about to enter some crazy territory. hopefully no one runs out of lives.... lest there be a.... game over.

damn roxy even talks like me. so goated. anyway things are about to get alot worse

god i fucking love this panel hes so real i am just like him in every way except for the ways i am like john and roxy

hehehehehe this makes me giggle

me stealing all of the mannerisms of my boy best friend LOLLLL he actually does need help though. you cant lose your cool like this lil bro.

NOOO KARKAT . you will be missed :(

he is so cude man :ppppp :D

haha redglare. also this glitch shit is crazy and sort of hard to understand. i guess it is because caliborn put his powder in the homestuck cartridge... but is that really why? or is it a metaphor......

bossy much? true dirk you are being really controlling dude. maybe take it down a notch lil bro

these interactions with arquiusprite are so funny

Neigh, braj

most sane dave rant of all time. i love this man so much he is my son. that guy whos like this is delicious im about to kill my son but instead he says im about to be my son

HE SAVED THE MAYOR. my heart dropped. if he dies i kill myself NO CAP

this idiot bozo doesnt know what time travel is. im saying this out loud as i type it out

brain ghost dirk phenomenon sighting

the image "why were you on mad at me island"

do not mess with her fort. LEST THERE BE THE CONSEQUENCES .

lil seb returns!!! hes so real. also he got rusted because he somehow survived for sooooooooooo long after the earth was abandoned by all

wait he is just like me. oh HELL no. this BOZO is still at it.... this is up for consideration .

theres angels. sollux said a LONG TIME AGO that angels are linked with death and are used by paradox space to usher in "the end." what could this mean for their chances of success. surely nothing

ACTUAL VILLAIN OF THE STORY SHE IS ABOUT TO SCREW EVERYTHING UP

i used to say this shit all the time real ones know about me

goot bye dabe </3

WHORE YOU

this picture of dirk is cool . im glad things will go well for him.

i love his freudian slips so much hes so funny to me i need to be like him i need to be like him what no im normal im so normal

i love arcs

me using my baller ass powers on my enemies ( they stand no chance against me )

me in real life ( i never have any idea what is going on whatsoever) he is very small in multiple of these panels and that alone is making me like him more. that is all

seriously how small is this guy!!!!!!!

...............okay......... sam and i watched game over.... everyone died........ except for john and roxy and terezi temporarily... THINGS WENT TO SHIT. FAWK.......... but it will be better soon... you first must descend in order to ascend as the great nannasprite once said ...... i closed my eyes when dave died so it didnt happen

[trippygalaxy]

It’s been a while, but i am back >:)

Anyways here’s some SR!link stuff

Originally, when you met Link you’d take. that his title as Hero would’ve came with its usual connotations. The stone faced, ‘for the good of everyone’ mentality… but you were quickly proved wrong. Not to say that he couldn’t be intimidating, no, just that he often wasn’t with you.

“Oh c’mon, just this once” Subconsciously, he grabbed one of your hands in both of his, winning smile on his face.

“We don’t have time to nap, we’ve got stuff to do, monsters to fight” You tried your hardest to reason, you really did. But you were sweet on him, absolutely smitten. It made things like staying on track difficult.

“But I’m tired! And I’m injured”

“That was hardly a scratch.”

“But still!” You sighed, shaking your head with a smile.

“Fine, just this once.”

(time skip brought to you by clorox)

You awoke first about three hours later, Link’s head pressed you your stomach and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You kept your breaths slow and ignored the burning on your cheeks as he slept contently. He stirred and without thinking, you combed through his hair, scratching his scalp. And he was out like a light again.

- 🎞️

LOVE LOVE LOVE LIVE LOVE!!!! I LITERALLY GIGGLED WHEN I SAW YOUR FIRST SENTENCE HEHEHEHEHE AJSGAJSDHJABD

HEA SO SOFT AND CUTE AND POUTY AND UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Boy wants to nap? He can use me as his pillow for the rest of my life 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Thank you so much, i literally love these soooo much 🤭🤭

[chugging-antiseptic-dye]

hiii currently going through a rough patch rn but the 'svt using a pickup line on you' post made me giggle sm hehehehehe. kicking my feet thinking of jww texting me a pick up lineeeee omg. i actually have no time to be on tumblr but I'm still lurking around bcs svtumblr (you included!!) always makes me smile so i stick around anyway :)))

hope you're having a good week :)

love,

🌻

hiya, darling, i had the worst day but your ask made me feel better <3

i am sorry to hear that you are going through some rough times. but you will get through it!! i believe in you :p i am so glad that i made you laugh and i hope you can always find comfort in my works. and that i can continue to make you giggle your heart out <333

my request box is always open for you. if you have a funny scenario in your head, i will write it for you. zero questions asked MUAH

[almostempty]

I’m SCREAMINGGGGG

1. heheheheh me??? unhinged????? HEHEHH

2. Did u say pathetic?

Pls these have me WHEEZE LAUGHING LIKE A GHOUL and i’m reusing the slut 2 slut pic BUT LIKe, THANK YOU for sharing the same humor brain cell hehehehehehehe

Um,

Starting one anyway but we have no leader and the only cult rule is to leave comments on ur fav things bc ITS SO GOOD I JUST REREAD AND GIGGLE OVER AND OVER

🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡 fr reporting for duty sir!!!

If they don’t take me too I’m gonna eat the t-shirt!!!!!

U GET THE VIBE HEHEHEH, also I’m absolutely STILL CACKLING over the “im at dennys” you found for fboy!joel

it just really does something for meeee

Also lllolol maybe he’s just a profesh like

Never made it as a wise man

(joel miller x f!reader)

Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.

Note: y’all are out here answering god’s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that. 

However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody asked– What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy? 

You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic? 

Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (hopefully, he qualifies for @hellishjoel‘s hot dilf summer challenge, but if he's not dilfy enough I'll remove the tag)

obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre

Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkin’ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, he’s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idk  

WC: 4.2k

You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joel’s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope he’ll be willing to accept your gift. 

Last week, he’d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joel’s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair would’ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasn’t worth arguing with him. He wouldn’t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him. 

At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to “One Last Breath” and “Lips of an Angel” at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that. 

That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories. 

The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach. 

You hadn’t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didn’t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there. 

Luckily, Ellie didn’t notice your eyes lingering on Joel’s body. You weren’t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed so… solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he can’t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked. 

Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzas–or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinners–instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe he’s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He can’t refuse it if you already made it, right? 

You pull up next to a truck, assuming it’s his, and that he’s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible. 

You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? It’s not like you’re trying to fuck your only (almost) friend’s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe there’s like a loophole or something if she’s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It can’t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you aren’t even his type anyway. 

After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if he’s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course! 

You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILF–Joel, you mean. It’s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life. 

The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you don’t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but there’s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that he’s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench. 

You aren’t trying to be sneaky. You didn’t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didn’t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is. 

The guy that’s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep. 

The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldn’t turn you on, right? 

You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything. 

You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench. 

Still, no Joel, however. 

You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. There’s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, it’s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls. 

As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back you’ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. It’s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.   

The next moment is a blur. 

“Shit, fuck, hold on!” Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone. 

You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. He’s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow. 

“What are you doing here?” he barks. 

Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run. 

He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but you’re faster. 

“Sorry,” you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joel’s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist. 

“Hey, wait,” he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, “I just didn’t hear you comin’. Wasn’t expecting you.” 

“Sorry,” you repeat, stuttering as you continue, “I-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.” You stare at the floor. Unsure why you’re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you. 

“All right,” he rumbles. You’re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face. 

But your brain starts to catch up. Joel might’ve snapped at you, but you’re the one that caught him in the act. You don’t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until you’re studying his crotch. 

Bingo. It’s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon? 

He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. “Was there somethin’ you needed?” He asks. 

“Yes.” You tell him you’ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead. 

Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. “You didn’t need to do all that,” he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal. 

You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. He’s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic. 

“I know, I know,” you reply, “but you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?” 

“All right, well, thanks,” he trails off. He doesn’t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but he’s not ushering you out the door. 

This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. There’s no way you’re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. You’re gonna go for it. 

You take a step towards him. “I wasn’t sure if it was really enough,” your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.

He knows you must’ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldn’t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroeger’s voice screaming, “This time I'm mistaken

For handin' you a heart worth breakin'” from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop. 

“You worked so hard,” you continued with one final step, and now you’re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. “There has to be something else I could do.” You’re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face. 

You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasn’t made any move to encourage you, but he hasn’t stopped you yet either, so you figure it’s worth taking a risk. 

“Maybe you’ve got a problem I could help you with.” You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans. 

Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a “What?” in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an “o” shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now you’re both locked into this position like statues. 

His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesn’t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately. 

“What are you doing?” His voice crackles like he hadn’t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock. 

“Let me help,” you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joel’s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts. 

Joel’s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm. 

“Jesus,” he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. “You wanna help?” He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. He’s trying to figure out what’s happening right now. 

“I do,” you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. He’s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core. 

He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock. 

They’re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel can’t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really can’t stop. 

“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he spits out, but it’s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and he’s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess.  You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one. 

“God, that’s so fucking hot,” you tell him. At the same time, he’s muttering curses at the sight of you. You’re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin. 

He’s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor. 

Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. It’s barbaric, and that delights you. 

Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as he’s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back. 

The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer. 

You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin. 

Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours. 

He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know it’s wrong that you can’t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief. 

He’s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldn’t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought. 

“Jesus Christ,” he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You don’t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.

“Really, fucking, hot.” You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point. 

“Fuck,” he stifles a groan. You’re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. “Oh, you do need my help. Hm?” 

You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. “Just desperate for me, aren’t ya?”

You snap your legs back shut with a glare. 

“No way,” you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, “you don’t get to laugh at me like I’m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.” 

His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You aren’t sure what kind of bear you’ve just, quite literally, poked. 

“But you are, aren’t you?” He challenges. “You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.” 

He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle. 

A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat. 

“Shh,” he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, “that’s better, hmm?” He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him. 

“You need more?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yeah, you do.” He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum. 

“You just need to be filled up, hm?” He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon. 

But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.

“Don’t you?” He asks like you could read his mind.

“Hm?” You hum absently. Empty headed. You’re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene. 

Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as you’re both half-dressed and panting in the other’s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision. 

“You wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.” 

“Yes,” you hiss as you hover at the edge. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you. 

“Yeah, you’re gonna ride me like fuckin’ champ,” he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. He’s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway. 

“Shit,” he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers it’s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face. 

“Hey, wait,” he calls for you, but you’re on the move. 

“Let me know when I can pick up the baking dish,” you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joel’s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didn’t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didn’t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door. 

When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the work fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if it’s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because you’re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose. 

Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What they’d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize. 

The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display. 

You send it off with no context, figuring it’s self-explanatory. It’s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen: 

Joel

Attachment 1 image

divider by @cyberangel-graphics

Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh

[c0smiccom3t]

Ryonna Tag team racing quotes part 2!

Missions [Costume] - "Could you get one for me too? If i wanna show off im a master of stealth business, i want to look like i am that, too!" - "Yeah i'm sure it won't be too big when you put in on, sir." - "AGAIN, BRAT-ICOOT?!" - "This is getting us nowhere. Sir, perhaps would it be better if i went to fetched those things myself?" - "Oh-kay..." - "JUST GET ON WITH IT, OR YOU'RE GONNA SAY HI TO STARGAZER, TOO!" - "Finally." - "Yeah, keep it for yourself, you deserved it." [Mission 1] - "Yeah, could you? That'd really pay off and your sister would be impressed, if you ask me." - "Good luck! ...and make it quick." - "Master, calm down!! Maybe he just needed some clues to where that set is! ...Please hurry before he has another tantrum, he skipped his beauty sleep today." [nervous laugh] - "Yeah, you don't want to be known as 'the worst big brother in the world' now, do you?" - "We told you, brat-icoot, just BRING THAT GEAR!" - "Congrats, you played yourself. Hope you enjoy your demise! See you on the race track! Heheheheh, sucker." [Mission 2] - "Dont you mean 'weapon of mass de-- OW!" - "Okay, okay, you're right, sir!" - "That'd be so helpful, indeed! ...No pun intended, by the way. Now get moving!" - "Yeah, come back to us once you did get those crystals, bucko!" - "Yeah. Things take time. But honestly, you got to hurry. so get a move on!" - "These gamers are such a predictable bother nowadays, it's exhausting really." - "See you there, brat-icoot. C'mon m'lord, let's show him!" [When Cortex is interacting with Crash] - "Sir, he doesn't play with train tra--... F-forget what I said." - "Ooo-hohohoho! This is gonna be fun to watch, sorry brat-icoot.... not!" - "Oh and please. be careful with that. I heard wood chippers are a little... Spiky." *deep giggles* - "Not as good as when i hit the gym though. I got THAT superstrenght, baby! ...Though the actual egocentrist here is my boss, anyway." - "Yes, now how about you get lo-- I mean... explore around and have a good time?" - "I'm telling you sir, maybe you should get your mind off him with a nice, delicious churro-- OH HI BRAT-ICOOT, WHATS UP!" - "Get lost twerp, we're busy!" - "Yeah, it's best served cold too. Or is it served hot...? Whatever." - "Ugh, you Brat-icoots are so annoying... Just let us have some peace, for my boss' sake!" [When interacting with Crash] "What do you want, Brat-icoot? Im trying to reflect on my life's mistakes here." "You may ask... How did I become Cortex's racing partner...? Well uh.. It's a funny story. But i think it was after i asked you if i could join you since i didn't have a car and Von Clutch says I 'Can't drive vell'. The nerve!" "God, i hate my life-- Oh, Crash! Didn't see you there! Now get lost before I PUNT YOU!" "I wish Dingodile was in this game... Ooh! Maybe he's in the crowd?? I bet he loves the way i roll..." [sighs dreamily] "Huh? ...AGHH!! FORGET WHAT I SAID, BRAT-ICOOT!" "Yes sir, i got it, foot massage at half-past thirty right after dinner, and bedtime storytime at 9 o'clock sharp, noted. Later." [Hungs up the phone and then Notices crash infront of her] "Uhh... You heard nothing. I was just having a chitchat on the phone." "Crash, I know i'm not supposed to say this. But thank god my boss isn't here so... Keep this between us for a minute before he finds out..." [Inhale] "He sucks his thumb in his sleep and apparently when stressed he uses my tail as a security blankie while HE STILL HAS HIS OWN IN HIS POCKET! Even though sometimes it's in the wash... There, just keep this between us. And his snoring, UGH! Okay... I said too much. Go on with your little tralala trip now." "Don't mind me, i'm just getting churros for me, Nina, N. Gin and the boss. You know just because i'm a villain, that doesn't mean i dont share my food with my coworker, godchild and partner in crime." "Oh Crash, I need your help. Boss left his stuffed bear in those gears. Mind getting it for me before he goes on a tantrum during bedtime?" "Go away before i punch you through your skull, brat-icoot. I'm really busy here."

[sunshine-scented]

Helloo again, I wanted to thank you for making my last request, i loved it <33 I don't know if it's still accepting requests, if not it's ok you can just ignore it ^^, but if so, I could make a hcs of wukong, macaque and nezha with your wife s/o dragon (again sorry kk i love dragons) pregnant? I imagine dragons are like rabbits and have lots of children, how would they react if your wife wanted more children after she had already given birth to her first child? having nsfw along, sorry if it's too much can just ignore ;w;

Sora!!!! I love these dragon requests so much oh my gosh I'm obsessed!!! (Also, thanks for adding Nezha, now I can finally brainrot about him hehehehehe~)

❀ Dragon Family ❀

: Dragon s/o wants more babies!! Give the big scary dragon her babies!!!!!

: Sun Wukong, Macaque, Nezha x fem!reader

: Fluff and a generous amount of Smut :))

Sun Wukong

• would absolutely agree with you, a hundred percent

• he has so many monkey friends so he's used to taking care of multiple things

• and if it makes his wife happy??? It's already an immediate yes from him

• like, you didn't even have to try to convince him

• he's already planning the names of the babies as you speak

• excited to see more children run around the mountain

• suddenly, he's not so lonely anymore

• sobbing

Wukong carefully set you down on the bed, his lips catching yours in a heated kiss as you wrap your arms on his neck. He trails his hands on your waist and softly starts to grind against you.

You tugged on his hair making him groan and bite your lip as he lets go to stare into your eyes "My beautiful wife" he takes one of your hands and places a chaste kiss on your knuckles "My oh so precious wife"

You giggled at his affectionate behavior making him smile, he leaned in towards your ear biting against your skin, gently pulling it with his teeth making you shiver and moan out his name.

"I'm gonna pump you up with my children yeah? Gonna make you look so full of me, and only me~♡"

Six eared Macaque

• he's a little hesitant to agree with you

• he's not used to taking care of something so...fragile

• and yet you want more??

• that's what he tells himself, yet that look on your face as you ask him over and over again made him double take

• the sight of you kneeling down before him, your hands hugging his waist as you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours

• heavens, save this poor man

• eventually, he agrees to your requests

• with a small price of all your time tonight~

"Ahn~ Macaque.." you whined as he pinned your hands over your head, his tongue licking your neck and biting your delicate skin against his fangs, a low chuckle was heard from him.

"What's wrong? Isn't this what you asked of me, Darling~?" His suave voice made your knees weak as he picked you up and placed you on the kitchen table, squeezing your thighs and capturing your lips in a sloppy, messy kiss.

He groans at your warmth and how willing you are to give all of your being to him, sends shivers down his spine as he pulls out and stares into your half lidded eyes. He smirked and slapped your thigh, erupting a moan from you

"Shh, quiet now. Our little baby is sleeping, we wouldn't want to wake them up from their precious nap now would we~"

Nezha

• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

• sorry that's my bad

• anyways, he's similar to Macaque

• he has both the map of the samadhi fire and the jade emperor to protect, both of which isn't an easy job to do as it is

• but you're just so irresistible ♡

• and a huge tease

• surely, you would gladly take responsibility of the absolute mess you made him to be, no?

You started to grind you hips onto his lap, making cute little sounds right beside his ear as you felt him take a breath to try and calm himself down, he's just so adorable

He suddenly grabbed your waist in a tight hold making you gasp as he took the opportunity to shove his tongue inside your mouth in a sloppy wet kiss, you hummed his pleasure as you start to trail your hands onto his chest.

You tugged and pulled on his hair near his scalp making his breath hitch as he pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your mouths "You're playing a dangerous game, (Name)" he breathlessly whispered to you with a furrowed brow.

Yet you licked your lips and started you caress his thigh and leaned in closer to him "I know, I just want to know if you're strong enough to play with me~" you mocked a baby voice on him as he finally snapped, grabbing a fistfull of your hair and pulled your head facing upwards making you moan as he started biting onto your exposed neck.

"Lucky for you, I love a good challenge~"

No I don't have favoritism, what are you even going on about silly